Mistaken Identity
by emani-writes
Summary: Harry learns a lesson that it is unwise to jump to conclusions.
**DESCRIPTION:** Harry learns a lesson that it is unwise to jump to conclusions.

 **WORD COUNT:** 2451

 **STATUS:** COMPLETE

 **WARNINGS:** None really. I may have used the words "bloody", "bum", and "bollux" and the distinct threatening thereof. Oh, and "arse" and "bastard". There is even mild flirting between men. I'm entirely unsure how to rate this story for that. T?

* * *

She sat in a booth, staring idly at her menu, waiting for her date to return from the loo. It was common of them to meet like this, hidden off in a back corner to avoid the attention such a visit like this could attract.

Suddenly, a heavy body slid in the seat across from her and Hermione dropped her menu to smile at her date only to freeze, eyes wide in shock at the glowering wizard who greeted her instead.

"Harry," she squeaked in surprise. Her eyes darted from her best friend to scan the restaurant in agitation. Failing to see her date, she returned her focus to Harry Potter who was watching her with an air of barely veiled expectation.

Spine stiffening slightly, Hermione tried valiantly to force a look on nonchalance, knowing without question she failed. She never was good at hiding her feelings. "Harry," she repeated, this time with a of forced delight, "what are you doing here?" She couldn't help her eyes darting around again and quickly pulled them back to the slowly growing scowl of her best friend.

Harry snorted. "I could ask you the same, Hermione, but I think I can wager a guess."

Shoulders slumping, Hermione's look turned pleading. "I was going to tell you, Harry…"

"How long?" He cut her off sharply, no longer looking at her face but glaring down at his hands fisted on the table. "How long have you two been going behind my back?"

Her mouth gaped open for a long moment before Hermione managed to gather her wits. Tears stung at her eyes. She had known Harry and most certainly Ron likely wouldn't approve, but she had thought since Harry was dating… Obviously, it didn't matter. Some rivalries, it seemed, ran too deeply.

"Six months," she said softly to the table between them. Her heart hurt when his clenched knuckles whitened further.

"Six months?" He hissed, glaring burning into her which such intensity it stole the breath from her lungs. "You've been seeing him for six bloody months? How could.. ? You knew…? Hermione!"

She flinched.

"This was something I might have expected from Ron," he continued, muttering something under his breath she missed. His voice dropped to a deadly quiet she hadn't heard from him since before the end of the war. "I want to know why."

Brushing away angrily at a stray tear, Hermione shook her head. "Harry," she tried, swallowing around the lump in her throat. "I didn't think you'd be this upset."

A hand slammed on the table between them, causing her and the cutlery to jump. Eyes from around the restaurant now looked on in curiosity, suddenly made aware there was a show to be had.

Harry seethed, his green eyes flashing wildly and for the life of her, Hermione could not figure out what it was about her date that caused this level of a reaction. It surely couldn't just be old Quidditch rivalries that had Harry in such a snit. Just as he seemed about to rise and tear into her in front of a room full of witnesses, a large, tan hand clamped down on his shoulder forcefully, keeping Harry in his seat, even as the new arrival cast a discreet silencing charm with the opposite hand.

Harry turned, hissing over his shoulder at Hermione's date and apparent rescuer only to start in surprise.

"Everything alright here?" Adrian Pucey asked the table at large, his voice smooth and polite, even as his eyes raged at the Savior of the Wizarding World.

"Pucey?" Harry said, still apparently dazed. He blinked rapidly, looking between Adrian and Hermione as if he were drowning in confusion. "What are you doing here?"

Hermione watched Adrian's fingers flex into the hold they had on Harry's shoulder. Harry winced hard. "I was joining my girlfriend for a nice, quiet lunch," he stated calmly, even as he used his hold to punctuate his sentence. Throwing a questioning glance at Hermione, he loosed his grip to slide in next to her. Wrapping an arm around her in an unusual display of public affection, he pulled the red faced woman to his side, kissing her forehead and tucking her against his chest. "Alright, love?" He whispered into her hair.

Shaking her head minutely, Hermione pulled herself from Adrian's hold to lean toward Harry, eyes narrowed at her flabbergasted best friend. His chest was rising and falling rapidly, his eyes wide in slowly dawning realization, and he looked to be fighting off a panic attack.

"Harry," Hermione said slowly, her own brow furrowed as she watched him process the scene before him, Adrian running a soothing hand up and down her back while likely glaring daggers at the cause of her distress.

"Pucey?" He managed to choke out, his eyes darting now between them. "You're dating Pucey. Not.." he gulped obscenely. "Pucey?" He asked almost desperately, his wide, scared eyes finally fixing on hers.

Slowly, as if he were a young and more stupid than average child she replied, "Not whom, Harry?"

At her response, Harry buried his face in his hands, his shoulders slumping in distress or relief, she couldn't tell.

"I thought…" he gasped out between the gaps in his fingers. "I thought you were N-Nott."

"What?!" Hermione shrieked even as Adrian scoffed and sneered with derision, "Nott wouldn't date Hermione."

At his tone, she turned hurt and angry eyes on her boyfriend. Seeing her reaction, Adrian's eyes softened a touch. He reached out a hand and smoothed back a curl on her head. "Nothing against you, love. But it's been known in the Slytherin Common Room since his fourth year that Theodore Nott is gay."

Hermione turned her attention to the still childishly hiding man before her. "Harry."

He groaned.

Sniffing, her lip curling in a sneer, Hermione reached out and prized his hands from in front of his face. "Harry," she said a bit more forcefully. "Why would you think I was dating Nott? I knew you two were together."

Harry paused at that, glancing up at her in surprise. "You did?"

"Harry," she grounded out in annoyance. He had the decency to look ashamed. Gesturing toward Adrian, Harry's eyes turned pathetic. "He.. they. From the back.." He stuttered through, hot embarrassment burning his cheeks.

Hermione's scowl deepened. "You thought Adrian was Nott from the back?"

Harry nodded miserably.

"Well, we are cousins twice removed so I guess it could happen, though I'd like to think I've the better bum," Adrian chiming in, earning a warning glare from his girlfriend. He grinned.

Turning back to Harry, Hermione clenched his hand in hers, yanking it toward her across the table to gain his attention.

"You truly thought I would do that to you? That I would date the man you've been seeing for nearly a year? You truly thought that lowly of me, Harry James Potter?"

"I didn't know you knew," he mumbled.

"And then," Hermione hissed, her voice lowering as her anger mounted, "instead of approaching me like a rational adult, which you are _supposed_ to be, you marched over here and _attacked_ me?"

Harry shook his head emphatically. "Not a-attack," he said weakly.

"Attack, Harry," she confirmed.

Harry slumped.

"Why?"

A sound much like that of a beaten dog pulled from his throat and Harry resumed trying to remove his hand from Hermione's iron grip.

"Harry bloody Potter," Hermione seethed, causing even Adrian to flinch away from her. "You will explain yourself THIS INSTANT or so help me, I will remove your bollux from your person and store them like Snape's old potion ingredients."

Harry paled the furthest Hermione could ever remember seeing him but didn't back down from her threat. Inarticulate jibberish flew from Harry's mouth in a torrent.

Shaking her head in annoyance, Hermione cocked an ear toward her best friend. "Care to repeat that?"

"He's been acting really secretive lately and I was worried that maybe he didn't love me anymore and so I followed him here and then I see who I thought was Theo getting up from your table and kissing you on the head like your bloody lovers and I might have lost my mind for a moment," Harry's chest heaved with the force of his confession.

"I'll say," Adrian snorted, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms across his broad chest.

Both Hermione and Harry turned to scowl at him. He grinned toothily in response.

Sighing heavily, Hermione rubbed a hand along her brow. "And have you tried talking to Theo about it if you're so worried."

Harry looked sheepish. "No."

Leaning forward, Adrian tapped a finger on the table. "You should, mate. I can't see Theo ever cheating on you. Poor bloke's fancied you for years. How he realized he might like blokes, actually."

Harry and Hermione stared at him incredulously. "How would you even know that?" Harry demanded.

Adrian glanced between the two of them in confusion. "I was his Slytherin Sponsor," he said as if the answer should have been obvious. At their continued looks, he jeered. "Don't tell me you didn't have sponsors in Gryffindor?"

"First I've heard of it," muttered Harry. Hermione nodded.

"So it wasn't the job of Gryffindor third years to take on the new first years? How did you ever manage to find your way around or help with homesickness?"

"Or confess your sexual orientation?" Hermione interjected.

"Right," Adrian confirmed, sending her a wink. "Or he could and did discuss at length and in excessive detail how confused he felt after walking into the Quidditch showers after a match third year and catching the Chosen One in all his naked glory, dripping from a shower." At that he leered at Harry, eyes dropping over what he could see of him as he sat at the table. "Not enough curves for my taste, Potter, but you do have a pretty mouth."

"Adrian!" Hermione cried, scandalized.

The Slytherin grinned wickedly and kissed her neck, chuckling when she elbowed him in the ribs. "You have a wonderful mouth, too, love."

Harry grimaced before frowning at the two. "Well, if he isn't here to meet with you, then why did I see him walk in here?"

And as if that thought conjured him, Theodore Nott strode purposefully out of a nearby door that led to a private dining room, speaking quietly to the waiter at his side. He glanced away from the man to lock eyes with Harry, stuttering in his step as he registered his distressed boyfriend. Nott excused himself from his conversation and stalked smoothly over to Harry, nodding in greeting to Hermione and Adrian.

"Harry," he said, reaching for the dark haired man, only to flinch back in surprise when Harry jerked away from his grasp. He turned to glare at Adrian "Did you tell him?"

Adrian held up his hands in supplication even as Harry bristled. "Tell me what, Theo? How you're sneaking off here to meet with someone?" Harry seethed, pushing up to stand before the startled wizard in before him.

Nott studied Harry closely, eyebrows screwed together in confused contemplation. "Are you talking about the waiter?" He asked carefully, eyeing the wand that had somehow appeared in Harry's hand.

Harry spluttered, his face turning a deep red in his anger.

"Harry," Hermione interjected, reaching for his hand even as he turned on her. "Let him explain."

Harry turned back to Nott, his arms crossed defensively. "Well?" He demanded in a tone that wouldn't have been odd coming from Malfoy.

Gaping at the display, Nott turned questioning eyes to Hermione who took pity on him. "He thinks you're cheating on him."

"What?" Nott turned wide eyes on his fuming boyfriend, the color draining from his face only to be replaced by red mottled anger. "You buggering prat! I'm not here to cheat on you, wanker!"

Harry's self-righteous scowl lessened and he began to look uncomfortable. "You're not?" He winced at the hope laced in his tone.

"No!"

"Then?"

Swearing under his breath, Nott ran a frustrated hand through his dark hair. "You bloody ruin every one of my surprises you unmitigated bastard." He looked up to pin Harry with a glare. "I'm here planning your bloody birthday party, you git."

Harry perked up at the news only to slump as he realized the extent of his folly. "So you're not cheating on me?"

Nott scowled. "No."

"That means I might have overreacted?"

"Might? Merlin's saggy shorts, Harry!"

"So I'm an arse?"

"It stands to reason."

"And I owe you an apology?"

"Without a doubt."

Tentatively, as if he were unsure of his welcome, Harry stepped into Nott, wrapping his arms around his trim waist.

"Will you forgive me?"

Nott sighed. "I guess that depends on the quality of your apology, now won't it?"

Suddenly, Adrian clapped the two wizards hard on the shoulder. "Seems like you might owe Hermione an apology as well."

Nott stiffened, looking down at Harry's sheepish face. "And why might you owe Granger an apology?" He ground out.

Harry bit his lip and looked away. Adrian grinned. "Congratulations, Theo. Apparently, your bum is just as delectable as mine."

He furrowed his brow in confusion before understanding smoothed his face only for it to screw up once more in disgusted. "You thought I was here to… with Granger?" He shook his head. "Ew," he said quietly, but not quietly enough.

"Hey!"

"No offense, Granger," Nott threw over his shoulder.

She stood, face flushed with anger. "Offense _very much_ taken, you lanky tart."

Throwing a quelling arm around his fuming girlfriend, Adrian stepped between her and Nott before wands could be drawn. "Would you look at that," he said, glancing exaggeratedly at his pocket watch. "Lunch is over. Thanks for the entertainment, gents, but it looks like it's back to work for we mere peasants." He started to steer her away from the table and the silently squabbling couple behind them.

"That went well, don't you think?"

Hermione glared at him before huffing. "I should hex him cross-eyed, the arse."

"Right. And which one were we talking about again?"

At that, Hermione chuckled before wrapping herself around Adrian at the apparition point. "I'm starving. Those two morons ruined our lunch." She pouted. "I better well get a bloody food basket by way of apology for this."

"I'll be sure to owl Theo and tell him it's expected."

"You know, I've never bothered to compare your bum to Nott's," Hermione said as her hand slipped down to cup the decidedly impressive muscle she found there.

Adrian nodded sagely. "That possibility alone makes Harry a lucky man."

"Prat," Hermione said, smiling fondly before apparating them away with a crack.

* * *

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Well, hello there! How are you? It sure has been a while, hasn't it? This little story of no real importance is my attempt to get myself writing again. My only real goal was to force myself to write without really editing myself as I went (since I'm notoriously bad at that and it ruins any sort of grove I get into). I also wanted to write a story where Hermione gets caught dating a Slytherin. I didn't even have a pairing in mind when I started. So.. ta-da! With any real luck this will encourage me to get back into this particular hobby, and then maybe I can finish that long, loooonnngggg overdue story that been sitting all bare and forgotten as a WIP. Poor Fred.


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